ROAD TRIP OF A LIFETIME, 16 STATES IN 40 DAYS.

Visiting places like Oakland, San Fransisco, New York, Miami, San Diego, Los Angeles, Chicago, and everywhere, from Vancouver to LA. I have seen my fair share of the United States. I finally fulfilled my Southern States Everywhere tour in April of this year. It is no secret the South is known for its food, music and hospitality. Some of my favourite artists like Johnny Cash, Ludacris, Master P, Juicy J, Elvis, Otis Redding, B.B. King, Peggy Lee, Hank Williams and Lynyrd Skynyrd. The list goes on. The amount of talent in music and motion pictures to come out of the South is astounding. Have you caught on to the fact that I am a massive foodie? So naturally, besides music, food was the other driving factor for this tour. We started our tour in Washington. My girlfriend and I B-lined to Memphis and made it there in two and a half days! That is 3,638 km, precisely thirty-five hours of driving if you drive the speed limit. I don’t know why there is this stigma that Americans are rude or unfriendly. People in small towns are generally very kind and sweet. That goes for anywhere I have been. The First leg of the drive was rather bland. Montana and South Dakota appear to be quite similar to their northern counterparts. Being from Saskatoon, just five hours north of Montana, the scenery looked like home. Memphis, Tennessee, was a treat. There is live music on Beale Street and shops where you can buy overpriced nick-nacks and memorabilia. They had a Cinderella horse and carriage; you could get about three songs worth of rides around downtown. They say it’s $50 a ride, but you can talk them down. There was no shortage of BBQ and incredible-looking food. That’s for sure. But the one place that stood out was Silky O’ Sullivans. They have resident goats with a pen and a castle just to the right of the stage. It’s exceptional food, probably the best cajun shrimp I’ve ever had. The music that plays there weekly is excellent. It’s a fantastic outside bar; I loved the atmosphere and the people. If you are the touristy type, Memphis has endless guided tours, everything from Elvis and music studios to spooky houses. If you want to see it, there is likely a tour for that. You can even see old plantations. Most tourists were older folks; anyone my age lived there in the city. Although there wasn’t as much live music as I had anticipated, we did end up stumbling upon a free concert. I would go back. The general vibes and feel of the city were chill. I liked Memphis quite a bit. Although I suggest visiting between June and August, there wasn’t much happening at the beginning of April. Most events and festivals go on during the summer months.

Nashville, on the other hand, is another animal. Having never been, my expectations were very different than reality. I enjoy some old country, blues, funk, and soul. I have a wide range of music that appeals to me. It still boggles my mind, but you have three choices: new country, mainstream classic rock and new country. So much unbelievable talent has come out of this city. But ya, I was told by various locals that diverse live music is generally not a thing there, at least not anymore. One person even stated that Nashville was dead! Well, musically speaking, that is, with all the bars and pubs catering to the country bumpkin tourists, there is no diversity. Well, guess what, Nashville. I am a tourist, and your music sucked. How is it that every single bar plays the same music? In addition to that, it’s vital to mention Velvet Taco on Division Street, nestled beside some of the South’s most famous recording studios. This place has the best vegetarian tacos I have ever had, although the crispy chicken was also quite good. I believe I ate there twice, and we only stayed in the city for a day. The line-ups move fast, but be prepared to wait up to 40 minutes for your order. This place is across the street from various popular bars and gets hit heavily with delivery and drive-thru orders. It is no secret people love this taco spot and come from all around the city to eat here. We learned that biscuits are a southern foodie favourite. Biscuits and gravy are what many restaurants base their entire menus around. If you are trying to get a quick bite in the morning, there is this fantastic place called Rise Biscuits, donuts and righteous Chicken. Yes, their name is a whole ass sentence long. I Ordered a maple bacon donut, which looked great. I never got a chance to eat it as our K9 friend helped herself to it before I got to try it. The biscuits and gravy with green onions I inhaled while driving in about 6 seconds and immediately wished I had ordered more. I could easily be a happy, fat person in Nashville. I would most likely die of a heart attack or something related to eating biscuits and gravy every morning for my entire life. There are many places to get phenomenal biscuits all over Tennessee and Louisiana. I never did check out The Waffle House, but I have heard from numerous sources that it’s worth a look. Do yourself a favour and hit up a biscuit house. You will be surprised by all the different things they come up with. If you are going for Southern staples, remember to try some fried chicken and waffles, another fan favourite.

Many amusement parks and tourist attractions call Pigeon Forge their home among the rolling hills just south of Knoxville. This is Tourist Trap Central, featuring everything from laser tag, zip lining, fun houses, petting zoos, museums, and themed restaurants. You name it, they have it. So, if you want to spend money, this is a fantastic spot to do just that. We stopped at a diner called Sunliners. It’s a great little place to stop for breakfast or lunch. They are a modern-times 50s diner; it’s like going to eat on the set of Grease. Suppose you end up stopping by. Remember to order a milkshake. They even give you the extra in the metal cup. If you are lucky, you might eat in the booth made from an old Cadillac. The staff was friendly, and the food was great, everything you could expect from an authentic diner experience, right down to the paper hats. Dollywood was our next stop, and to my immediate disappointment, the waterpark was still closed for the season—the other Dollywood amusement park is entirely made up of roller coasters. If you are not a roller coaster lover or in the market for some overpriced Dolly merchandise, there is absolutely nothing here for you. You can’t even sit down to eat at “Granny’s” with less than five people because they only serve family style. The actual value you get for your hundred-dollar entry fee is pretty weak. I wish there had been more than just the roller coasters, especially since there seemed to be a heavy volume of seniors attending the park. Having a few more things going on might be a good idea. I hate to rag on your thing Dolly but fuck your overpriced park. There wasn’t even a place to sit down to eat for a group of two people. I give it a half-star out of 5. No doubt we are going to see commonalities throughout the parks. I’m going to go ahead and assume the waterpark is equally overpriced. However, It might be sick, so I wouldn’t completely rule it out. If you are in the area, it could be worth a look.

Now, if you love to go to the beach and enjoy surfing, there are many places along the coast of  Florida down to Miami. I spent some solid time in Miami, and I can tell you I was not down there for the atmosphere. I met a great group of people, so I stayed there. But I don’t care for Florida too much, aside from the fact that it’s the only place in the States where you can swim with manatees. Disney World is in Orlando, and if I could rent the whole park out for a day, that might be a thing. But unfortunately, I’m not a millionaire, and there are just too many damn people. I wouldn’t say I like standing in line; even with a fast pass, line-ups will be a good sixty percent of your day.  Anyway, there is this one place called the Devil’s Den, and you can scuba or snorkel there. It’s a massive swimming cave that looks stunning. It is very similar to the Cenotes you see in southern Mexico. So, back to manatees, there is a place called Crystal River. It is the only place in the United States where you can legally swim with these unique and gentle creatures in their natural habitat. Crystal River boasts the largest concentration of manatees in the world, and since 1995, Fun 2 Dive has been the leader in bringing visitors face-to-face with these gentle giants. A professional photographer accompanies you with a waterproof camera. They even have photos to commemorate your experience available for purchase after the tour. They are not tampered with or fed, and extended measures are in place to keep the manatees safe and undisturbed. I highly recommend going to swim with these majestic creatures. It was a great tour, and the people who run Fun 2 Dive enjoy their jobs, making Crystal River a must-see destination.

Louisianna is by far my favourite state on this entire tour. Suppose you are in Louisiana during the last week of April. In that case, you do not want to miss “Festival International” in Lafayette—featuring over 300 artists from around the world, five stages, and two renegade stages. With food and artist vendors, this event is lit. The best part is that the festival is put on every year through sponsors and volunteers. All the music is completely free for everyone to see. This festival was easily the highlight of my trip. Every show I saw was well done, making the festival an unreal experience. I would have preferred having a bike or scooter to ride around to be better equipped to catch as many acts as possible. I often raced around, stage hopping, trying to see as many musicians as possible. If you go to any festival next year, go to this one! I really can’t express enough how unbelievable this event was. I loved how diverse and all over the map the music was. Seeing so much music and culture from around the globe in one spot was truly surreal. I would go back to this festival every year in a heartbeat. I wish more festivals in Canada focused on bringing people music instead of a profit. Everyone should have access to live music, not just those who can pay for it. If you like a wide range of music from funk, blues, soul, rock and folk music, check out Lafayette Louisiana for “Festival International”. It will change your life; I danced so hard I tore my calf muscle. It turns out stretching is a real thing and should not be overlooked. There I go, learning things the hard way, like always. Last year, the festival saw heavy rain and stormy weather, so the organizers needed help getting returning artists from other countries. So there was a significant influence of artists from Louisianna this year, but they did not disappoint. I was following all the musicians from the South, so I was in my element. The weather was perfect this year, and I can’t wait to hit this festival up again. Going back as a performer would be a dream.

New Orleans was challenging for me as I could not walk without crutches. The French Quarter, often called the Crown Jewel of New Orleans, is one of NOLA’s most historic neighbourhoods, with ample nightlife, modern boutiques, artisan cocktails, antique stores and old restaurants. Most of the landmark buildings were constructed either in the late 18th century, during the city’s period of Spanish rule, or during the first half of the 19th century. Quite a few of these streets are foot traffic only, so they are better enjoyed by walking around. The quaint and beautiful architecture paired with the cobblestone streets is enough to make anyone fancy a stroll. If you prefer shopping and museums during the day or bar hopping at night, there is something for everyone. I am not huge on museums, but the Voodoo Museum in the heart of the French Quarter is worth a look. New Orleans has had a thriving voodoo culture since the early 19th century. This Museum is a permanent staple and a great place to learn about the rich culture that shapes this city. You will see historic voodoo relics, paintings, sculptures, and other artifacts here. You can even leave an offering with a prayer to the voodoo queen Marie Laveau. If Voodoo is right up your alley, the vampire culture in New Orleans might also interest you. Locals believe that the city was home to real vampires. During the 1930s, brothers John and Wayne Carter were executed for committing multiple murders. A dozen bodies, drained of their blood, were discovered after a young woman managed to escape their apartment. Sightings of the brothers are often reported to this day, as their bodies mysteriously vanished from the family’s funeral vault. Marie Delphine Macarty (also known as Madame LaLaurie) tortured and killed many slaves back in the mid-1800s. Witnesses claimed to have seen slaves suspended by the neck and bodies of young children in her house. Entrance isn’t permitted, but you can learn about the gruesome history of the Mansion by joining a ghost tour. Madame LaLaurie can be seen depicted by Kathy Bates in Real American Horror Story. Today, there is a rich Vampire culture, and an association of real-life vampires called the New Orleans Vampire Association. These communities have kept to themselves primarily to avoid unwanted attention. Modern-day Vampires believe ingesting blood gives them an instant burst of energy. Most receive their blood from donors, friends or partners. Some do not drink blood at all and instead feed off energy through sexual practices or rituals. You may see this strange subculture first-hand if you are lucky enough to meet the right people. There are underground events and clubs in which vampires can meet potential donors and sexual partners. The Endless Night Vampire Ball happens yearly in NOLA and other states. This is just one of the public events where you just might come face to face with a real vampire.

Although I may have yet to say something about every state we visited, it is essential to mention Atlanta, Georgia. I only stayed in Atlanta for a day, but there is a rich live music culture here. Uptown in this quaint neighbourhood was home to many cute, strange shops and underground venues. The general feel of the city was very progressive and had quite a bit to offer. Going to Atlanta to catch some nightlife and shop would be a fantastic way to spend a weekend. Something about this city hugely appeals to me; I would love to experience Atlanta with a true local to guide me. If you are all about live music, Austin, Texas, is another hot spot! Anyone who is someone travels to Austin on their tours, this city is a hub for so many artists worldwide. From country to hip-hop and everything in between, there is no doubt a concert for you. I haven’t spent much time in either place, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Atlanta had more of a thriving underground music subculture. Alas, making this trip in under five weeks wasn’t enough time to truly get a feel for every place we came across. If you consider visiting the south, driving 3,000 km plus, I suggest allowing yourself at least three months. I, for one, am good on long-distance drives for a while. I will be flying next time and renting a car. Honestly, it was nice having a vehicle you could sleep in, especially since it significantly reduced the cost of hotels. Despite some minor setbacks, the trip was a success, and if you still need to check out the south, it is worth the journey. I know that Louisianna has not seen the last of me. I trust this article has given you some insight into some of the most popular destinations in the South and inspired your own travel plans. Thanks for reading.